Identity through association. Mimicry is one of the most basic learning skills we have. As babies develop we are told to make eye contact and touch their skin. It helps them thrive and develop skills that will increase their chances of survival. Babies grow and learn how to get what they want from the world around them, through parents, siblings, grandparents, day care providers, teachers, and other significant authority figures. Soon, the influence of media and peers creeps in. Not only do our offspring learn how to act, they learn how to think about themselves and how they are to be treated. This is complex.

I am a strong woman with good boundaries. As a survivor of life, I have had to walk with my head held high with the sure knowledge I did the right thing. I stick to my convictions to work with excellence. It is my choice. As a youth in grade school, not so much. To say I have bucked the system would be accurate. I have taken on some traits of my parents and let some go. I became my own person. I recognize turmoil and affliction gave me the ability to stand alone when necessary. I can let people have different opinions and I can assert myself. We're all in progress. That's what I have learned in life.

In September we celebrated Labor Day with my mother and we started teasing my spouse about being married to a therapist. I ended up asking him if he was scared of me. Through much laughter, my mother asked him if he was afraid to stand up to me. Eyes wide, innocent expression on his face, he shook his head yes and said, "There's too much of her father in her." We all laughed and moved on.  

Even though we were all joking around it made me pause and consider how much I really am like my father, and how different. Since everyone grows one way or another in life, I had to consider overall traits. How much am I like my dad? He was a Forward Observer in Viet Nam who served his time with pride. He did what he had to do in life. He had a good sense of humor. He was the kindest person you could meet, but didn't suffer fools lightly. He was strong and gentle hearted. He was angry. He was traumatized. He was a fighter. He was sinful. He was redeemed. At the end of his life he loved Jesus with his whole heart. I was so blessed to be able to see him for who he was and see the changes in him.

I get my strength to stand up for my convictions from him. I can stand up and be assertive because of him. I learned how to manage my emotions and think through situations. I am an observer. I have a gentle heart. I am a sinner. And, like him, I love Jesus with my whole heart.

As all things in this world, there was good and bad for me growing up. I did good and bad things. I thought good and bad thoughts. My strength got me into trouble and kept me out of it. How could I claim to love the LORD and be so human?

The pastor of the church we attend spoke about "Our Father who art in heaven" (Matthew 6:9) this past Sunday. We often get our views of who God the Father is based on how our earthly fathers treated us and acted. It makes it hard to pray to a heavenly Father sometimes. On the flip side it also teaches us what a healthy father is supposed to be like and gives us aspirations on how to be different. Since God is timeless and never changes, how can we relate? Maybe it comes down to loving others.

I listened to an online paster from years gone by and he had the notion that our purpose in life is to become Christ-like. He based it on Romans 8:29 NIV. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. This isn't about how someone was chosen to be saved before they were born. That is a choice everyone gets to make. It was about becoming like Christ.

How does all of this relate?

In life, I believe we learn from those around us, both the unhealthy and healthy. The LORD guides us through life and, as we grow to the age of accountability and choose a life based on the Holy Trinity, we become like Christ. We get to choose to share or hoard. To love or to hate. To trust or be anxious. To ignore the Holy Spirit or to listen and obey. The list goes on. Thus, we become like "Our Father who art in heaven" through His help and our decisions. We can learn to trust and love God the Father whatever the circumstances. In the Kingdom of God nothing is wasted. We have the privilege of growing throughout our lives in all circumstance. Better or bitter. What do you choose?

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose (Romans 8:28 NIV).

Do I have too much of my Father in me? I sure hope so.